josephholubsermons


 

Epiphany 5
February 7, 2010
Luke  5:1-11

Beyond Fear and Inadequacy

“Put out into the deeper water and let down your nets… Do not be afraid”  -Luke 5:4b,10

I love this gospel story.  I can picture it in my imagination.  The fisherman had called it a day.  They were packing in their nets and boats.  Jesus comes along and  intrudes into their routine by getting into one of the boats and then asking Simon to put it out a little further from shore, turning the boat into a kind of floating pulpit.   When Jesus had finished his sermon, he said to Simon, “Put out into deeper water and let down your nets…”   

Simon’s response was, “Master, we have worked all night long but have caught nothing.”   I think I know what Simon really meant.  Thinking Jesus was out of his league in fishing knowledge,  I can almost hear Simon muttering under his breath something like, “You do the preaching, I’ll do the fishing. Stick to what you know.”     I could cite numerous instances in my life when people have said really bizarre things to me; people totally shocked and surprised that I know how to do anything besides preach and pastor.  My favorite one is when someone says to me after knowing that I pastor a congregation, “Do you have  real job?  What do you do for a living anyway?” 

“Master, we have worked all night long but have caught nothing.”  But for whatever reason,  Simon complied and let down his nets. Surprise !  Surprise!   Jesus evidently knew more about fishing than Simon gave him credit for.  Luke says, “they caught so many fish that their nets were beginning to break!” 

At this point Simon’s response perhaps seems a little strange to us.  Luke writes, “he fell down at Jesus’ knees, saying, ‘Go away from me, Lord, for I am a sinful man.’  This is where we have to get inside the ancient Hebrew mindset to understand Simon’s response.  The ancient Hebrew’s typical response to the divine was a sense of inadequacy/insufficiency.  For them God was so holy and so awesome and so powerful and so pure that one could not look upon any manifestation of the divine without risk of dying.  One could not even speak the name of God, for to do so would be blasphemy and result in death.  

One of the things we see in the gospels is that those who were around Jesus sensed something extraordinary/special/uncommon in him.  Many sensed God’s presence in his life in special ways.  Simon sensing it did the customary pious Hebrew thing by falling on his knees before Jesus confessing his inadequacy in his presence.   

But it’s right here that the story hinges, and we get to Luke’s main point in telling the story in the first place.  Jesus said to Simon, “Do not be afraid; from now on you will be catching people.”  Jesus would not let Simon remain in his posture and mindset of inadequacy, but he lifted Simon up and out of it and empowered Simon by inviting him into a partnership of discipleship. 

Biblical scholars tell us that Luke’s gospel was written in the late 80’s of the first century.  It was a time of upheaval and change.  As the first century moved into its later decades the Jews who did affirm Jesus as messiah and Jews who did not affirm Jesus as messiah began to distance themselves from one another.  Up until that point they all considered themselves Jews.  But Jesus-centered Jews began to acquire their own identity.  It was also a time when these young Jesus-centered communities were reaching out to the Gentile world and were inclusive of all sorts of non-Jews.  A decade before the Romans had destroyed both Jerusalem and the temple. Persecution and martyrdom were an on and off thing depending on who was emperor.  If the young Jesus-movement was going to survive it was going to take bold and courageous people willing to give of themselves in profound self-sacrificial ways; people not stuck in the paralysis of inadequacy. 

So Luke, in his gospel, tells this story as a call/commissioning story proclaiming to his  community that discipleship was nothing short of a partnership with the living Jesus that took them on a journey; a journey beyond fear and inadequacy.   

I did some reading this week on what psychology tells us about a sense of inadequacy.  A person develops a core identity by about the age of 7 years.  A core identity is developed based on what the child experiences.  Unlike adults, a young child cannot separate and distinguish who they are from the world around them and the experiences around them.   A young child’s core identity as to whether he/she is lovable, worthwhile, valuable and good is largely determined by their environment.   

It’s during this period of time that core intuitive beliefs are established.  Beliefs that  supersede logic and cognitive thinking are embedded deep in the psyche.  Here’s the thing:  every negative experience in childhood is interpreted by the child as their fault, and creates negative beliefs about the self.  Psychologists call these deeply embedded negative beliefs Mistaken Core Beliefs.  These MCB’s exert great power over a person well into adulthood, even for a lifetime.  They cannot be simplistically reversed by rational and logical thinking because they are embedded deep in the psyche in a place that supersedes logic.  All of us have our share of Mistaken Core Beliefs that can lead to a sense of inadequacy – obviously some more than others.

I speak to you this morning as a person whose childhood environment was filled with harsh, violent and negative experiences. I can testify to the power of these embedded Mistaken Core Beliefs.  I have spent the majority of my adult life fighting off their influence upon me as manifested in an insidious voice that plays like background music in my life singing the dirge: “You are not worthy. You are not good enough.  You are inferior.” 

Sadly, as we look at the history of Christianity, we see how it has sometimes fostered highly negative images of the self.  My Sunday school days as a child were filled with mixed images: on the one hand a loving God, yes, but way too often, on the other hand, a harsh and judgmental God who was very dissatisfied with who I was.  Historically, Christianity has sometimes cultivated a negative core image of self in order to manipulate and exert control over people, as well as pronounce judgment upon and exclude certain people.

This gospel story speaks to me, and I believe to anyone,  who lives with any amount of inadequacy.  This is a story of Jesus reaching deep into Simon’s inadequacy and inviting him out of it with the words, “Do not fear.”  Those are  empowering words because inadequacy always breeds fear – and fear always paralyzes and further entrenches one back into inadequacy – a kind of vicious closed circle.  But Jesus interrupted that circle when he calmed Simon’s fear and invited him into a partnership of discipleship.   Partnership is not based on inadequacy but affirmation.  Discipleship is partnering with Jesus, walking with him on the road he walks; and loving with his kind of love; and living his kind of life. 

One does not overcome these core negative beliefs and images at the drop of a hat.  It’s a process.  It has been my ongoing experience that I am redefined and reshaped from the core outward as I follow Jesus in this partnership of discipleship, and I experience his unconditional, inclusive love;  as I watch him embrace those nobody else would;  as I see him care for those that nobody else gave a darn about;  as I observe him affirm those who were nothing more than objects of scorn.  In this partnership he challenges me:  to love others as he did – unconditionally – loving far beyond the limitations of requirements and spiritual law.  He challenges me to give it a shot - like Simon, to cast my net into deeper waters -  the deeper waters of discipleship!” 

And also like Simon, surprise, surprise;  something incredible begins to happen in my life – those core negative beliefs, those tragic misguided images of self that lay siege to my being begin to lose their power and something more wonderful and more joyful than anything I have ever known begins to emerge from the core of my being.  And it is somewhere along that road that realize I am being set free from inadequacy and fear and am being transformed -  everyday letting go of old negative images of self and embracing an image of self based on the cherishing and affirming love of God.  

Every congregation I have served has had those individuals who have inspired me and given me courage; those people who have taken seriously Jesus’ invitation to partnership in discipleship in the face of tasks that would render most people feeling inadequate. 

In the 1980’s a young woman named Marianne, an artist and member of a church in Anchorage, Alaska went to an adult Sunday school class and heard a presentation on world hunger.  Marianne heard a call in her heart that day, a call she couldn’t shake.  And even though the problem of world hunger was overwhelming and daunting, the voice of that call rang loudly in her heart.  She was convinced, that even though she was only one person, she could make a difference and have an impact.  She heard the voice say “put out into deeper waters and let down your net.”  Empowered beyond inadequacy she created a piece of artwork, an embossed print, and made 150 copies of the print.  She donated them to the church with the directive to sell them and  distribute the funds to world-wide and local hunger causes.  That was about 30 years ago – and every year since she has created a print, and each year made several hundred copies, and they have been sold.  The total amount raised for world hunger over the years is in the hundreds of thousands of dollars; not to mention the consciousness raising about world hunger that has accompanied it.  It was a privilege for me to serve that congregation and to get to know Marianne personally in the 1990’s.  She cast her net into the deeper waters, partnering with Jesus in discipleship, and countless people have been fed and nourished.

“Put out into the deeper water and let down your nets… Do not be afraid”   It’s an invitation to partner with Jesus in discipleship.  It’s a challenge to move beyond fear and inadequacy and embark on the most exciting and purpose-filled  journey.   Amen.