"...but this one thing I do: I press on to make it my own, because Christ Jesus has made me his own... forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead..." Phil 3:12
J.B. Phillips in his version of the New Testament, translates that verse this way, "I leave the past behind, and with hands outstretched I press on to what lies ahead..." I "press on to what lies ahead..." I like that image!
But, is it really possible? Is it? Can I (you) leave the past behind? Do I want to leave the past behind? What does that even mean to leave the past behind and "press on?"
One of the hardest things to do is to "leave the past behind." I don't believe that Paul means for us to blank out memories the same way we might erase the files of a hard drive in a computer. Paul didn't mean for us to forget the people and the events of the past. Of course not! Paul was concerned about something very different. He was concerned about the past tyrannizing us in such a way as to keep us from embracing the future, embracing what lies ahead, and embracing the god who is already there!
Some years ago a woman came to see me because she was concerned about her father. Her mother had died some years earlier, and now her father had marriage plans. The daughter was concerned about her father's upcoming marriage, and she recited her litany of reasons, most of which centered around the woman her father planned to marry. As I listened to her rather critical commentary of this woman, her concerns seemed unfounded and rather inconsequential to me. When I began to ask a few probing questions, the real reason for the daughter's concerns began to emerge. Her concerns were rooted in two big fears: 1) the fear that her mother would be forgotten; 2) the fear she would lose her father.
I encouraged her to talk to her father and to share her concerns, and she did. She finally got past her fears, and when she realized and trusted that her mother would never be forgotten and really could never be replaced, she was finally able to begin to embrace the new woman in her Dad's life and be excited for her Dad!
I prayerfully think of the families of the victims of the Aspen air crash, and the grief and suffering they are experiencing right now. I have to ask myself, "Is it possible for them to get past this terrible tragedy in a such a way that they will be able to "press on" embrace the future once again? Is it possible? Is it even appropriate to think about it?"
Ask yourself, "HOW DOES YOUR PERSONAL HISTORY, YOUR SPECIFIC PAST, keep you from embracing what is to come. We cannot be fully God's persons in the present if we are tyrannized by the past... if we are entangled in the past. As a congregation, how does the specific history of our life together keep us from embracing what is to come and to "press on." I think there are two powerful ways we can get entangled in the past! Think of a past experience that still causes you some pain, or some anger, or some sorrow, or some guilt. Perhaps it was someone's death; or maybe a relationship died; or you were emotionally hurt in some way; or your job was terminated, or you were rejected in some way; or wrongly blamed for something; or your house was robbed, or a sudden illness, or a house fire, or a disastrous storm, or a personal assault. Whatever your experience, whatever your memory, whatever your pain, you may wonder why it still hurts so much today after all of this time; you wonder how something can stick WITH you and stick TO you like that! And even though it may have happened a long time ago, you know how something in the present can trigger it and set the memory loose like a wild animal ravaging your life. The past experience can resurface and exert just as much power upon you today, as it did when it happened for the first time, even so long ago!
About a month before Marcia and I were married we were in an auto accident. We were hit very hard by another car from the right at a blind intersection. That happened 32 years ago, but to this day, if an automobile approaches us from the right, at an intersection, we both flinch in our seats -- 32 years later!
That's not really all that big a deal! It's a physical thing that doesn't intrude in the present in a negative manner other than a flinching in the car.
But the point is, what about other things? What about emotional, relational and spiritual traumas? Some may be genuinely healed and fully resolved, but others, others may still simmer and fester deep within our souls, our memories, our emotions, our minds, and our hearts. Maybe you've tried to understand, tried to forgive, tried to release, tried to let go, but to this day when you find yourself in a certain situation, or something happens, or somebody says something - "bingo" - that little monster is released, and you're angry again, or sad again, or afraid again, or threatened again, or insecure again--or whatever.
You see the little boy or girl, the adolescent, the young man or woman, the person you were just yesterday still lives inside of you. This inner self may still be in shock, or living in fear, or may still be weeping in lonely grief. And if this inner self of the past is nurtured, and loved, and comforted, and healed -- that part of yourself becomes integrated into your whole personality, it joins the rest of you contributing to your personality's rich fullness.
But if that hasn't happened, if that inner person is still hurting, the past can rise up at any given moment and exert control and wreak havoc!
There's also another way we get entangled in the past! THE SECOND WAY is that THE PAST CAN BECOME A RETREAT, a safe haven in which to escape. It's sort of the opposite of the first reason. Instead of the past putting a choke hold on us, we choose to re-enter the past! You see, there's another kind of pain and fear that can get us. If things in the present get too threatening, too painful, or too frightening, we may find ourselves retreating into the past for comfort and security. I really believe this is one of the things that congregations struggle with as they grow and mature. As congregations mature things are bound to change. And change is frequently resisted and certainly not trusted! To many, change signals that things are out of their control, and with a feeling of loss of control comes panic and retreat. In my ministry I've been very fortunate to have been a part of congregations' that were experiencing the excitement of growth and change! But with that growth and change has sometimes come a chorus of laments that sound something like, "We never used to do it that way!" or "Why do we have to change?" or "I used to know everybody, but I hardly know anybody anymore!" When the present becomes threatening or seems out-of-control, so comes the temptation to retreat to the safe cocoon of the past.
But the apostle Paul comes along and proclaims that God's person is a person unencumbered and not tyrannized by the past. Paul gives us a picture of a different kind of person when he says, "I leave the past behind, and with hands outstretched I press on to what lies ahead."
To me that's a portrait, a wonderful portrait of a Spirit-led person who has been set free from the haunting voices and powers of the past, and the fears of the present, trusting only that God will accompany them into the future, and that God will do a new thing, maybe even make them into a new person! But it can't happen until we begin to "leave the past behind and "press on."
This time of year, Lent, we frequently use the word "repentance." Lent is a season of penitence and repentance. I would suggest to you that Paul's verse is a picture, a definition of repentance. Repentance is not feeling bad about yourself and groveling before God and others. Repentance literally means to "turn around," and face the future with a new attitude. The Greek word, "metanoia" means a change in one's way of thinking. A repentant person doesn't fele bad, but a repentant feels good because they have been set free from a former tyranny and are empower and given the courage and hope to "press on."
But how do we do that when there is so much that would hold us back? How do we even begin to be freed from our negative entanglements with the past? How do we "leave the past behind, and with hands outstretched "press on" to what lies ahead?"
Paul gives us some clues! He says, "I make it my own, because Christ Jesus has made me his own." You see Christ Jesus has made you his own! Your baptism is a reminder of that great good news. And with that good news is power! Maybe your not even aware of the power or have never tapped into the power, but Christ Jesus has made you his own, and there's power there to heal you and set you free!
You see, there isn't even the smallest little slice of you from which Christ Jesus withholds himself. There isn't one single particle of you being that Christ Jesus doesn't wish to nurture and embrace, and if you're being encumbered by it, then to heal you and set you free. There's no fear, no wound, no rejection, no pain, no sorrow, no regret, no guilt, no anger, no nothing that the love of Christ cannot touch and begin to heal. The only thing that can loosen the tyrannizing power of the past is the healing love Jesus Christ. That's the only thing that can loosen its grip, and turn us towards the future with outstretched arms, pressing on, following where God leads!
Some years ago a man I was talking with was having great difficulty in sustaining a positive relationship with a woman he loved very much and he hoped to marry. But he was troubled. He was having trouble trusting; forgiving; communicating; struggling with being open and sharing himself. He told me about a very painful divorce that he had gone through several years before, a divorce in which he had experienced betrayal and hurt. He would say, "I want to forgive! I want to let go! I want to be trusting! But I don't seem to be able to do it!" You see he needed more than a desire to be forgiving and trusting. HE NEEDED HEALING! Through time and patience, prayer, reflection, conversation, guidance, and an understanding fiancee -- he began to open up his inner hurt to the love of Christ and to experience the healing he needed to "leave the past behind, and with outstretched arms press on to the new relationship."
Christ is there with his powerful love, desiring to set you free - to be included in your life. It can happen in many ways. Some have a regular conversation with their pastor; others may need a professional counselor; or others just a listening Christian friend; a huge help is in developing a more intense and creative prayer life; groups can be a big help, like A.A; Prayer Groups, Bible Studies, Discussion Groups, Twelve Step Groups; the point is to put yourself in a place with other Christians through whom the living presence of Christ can come and begin his work of healing on that inner person and those past entanglements. In so doing you will begin the exciting journey of "leaving the past behind, and with your hands outstretched pressing on to the adventure of what lies ahead..."